What Does Healing Actually Look Like? (Hint: thankfully it has nothing to do with Kale)

So you’re bopping along.

You have gratitude down, you have journalling marked off, you have done “The Work”.

Well… actually first you worked out what “The Work” was and then you did said work. 

You know where all your ducks are and they are in a row.

Your feeling like a very adulty adult

Some might say “healed” even.

And then…

 A trigger pusher comes along.  

That person who seems to be able to find your trigger buttons and promptly starts poking at them like it’s their job and they are on a bonus system. 

An old wound, setting off a cascade of old behaviour.

And you react. 

Throw all your cookies out of the jar and now they are on the floor, and on anybody who was standing too close at the time.

Then here comes shame and doubt like they’re the horsemen five and six of the apocalypse.

You no longer know where your ducks are let alone have them in a row and now you have cookies you have to pick up from all over the ground and bits to pick off the people standing too close at the time.

Spoiler alert - healing doesn’t always look like peace and sunshine and rainbows.  Sometimes it looks like messy awkward progress.

Because what healing actually looks like is - 

Choosing differently, even when your body still wants to react the old way.

It means your past doesn’t get to run the whole show anymore.

It means you understand your patterns instead of becoming them.

It means knowing you could burn it all down - and choosing not to.

It means saying this ends with me.

It means giving yourself what no one else did…or could.

It means forgiving yourself for who you had to be to survive.

It means letting go of the hope they will apologise.

It means getting to the point where peace feels more familiar than chaos.

Healing doesn’t mean the old pain never knocks again, It means you don’t have to answer the door in the same way.

Healing means you notice….You breathe…And You choose.

That choice — that tiny pause between trigger and reaction — that’s healing.

Not perfection.

But becoming someone who can feel the wound being triggered — and still choose what’s next.

Choose this new version of yourself.

The one who knows where all your ducks are, and can line them up in a row.

Kind Regards

Jaimee xxx